revision and rewriting
- rewriting is not just rewriting
- it’s rethinking, reconceptualizing and approaching new things (perspective, structure/sequence of things, obstacles, character’s behaviour/actions/speech)

- everybody should at least try and rewrite their stories 5 times
- you will never find out what is really in you until you write and rewrite
- that doesn’t mean just polishing phrases

tip
- study your story, see it with a new vision and changed values
- write it afresh
- then maybe scrap it, start all over again – don’t be afraid to do this!
- after this, then you can begin “polishing”
- finding expressions with character, dialogue that has rhythm
- it may take 2 or more versions to bring out the full colour of the characters or yourself

reflection
- the inclination of the egoist is to get as much as he can, but at the same time not to change.

the final draft
1. read with a fixed eye
- re-read through your story carefully
- focus on a particular aspect each time (eg. character, location, action, etc.)
- ask yourself:
“is the protagonist ALWAYS the focus of the story?”
“is he/she doing anything or is everyone else always doing stuff around him/her”
“is he/she even there?!”

2. the chainsaw is your friend
- now is the time to look at script economy
- why have your reader dying to finish after 4 pages when they could be craving more after 2?
- ask yourself:
“where do my scenes begin? where do they end?”
“can 6 lines be said in 3?”
“can i trim the fat? can i cut the exposition? can i tell it visually instead?”

3. crank it up!
- the stakes are high – can they be any higher?
- more to lose = more dramatic tension
- ask yourself:
“does everything matter enough? can everything matter more?” (does the situation matter enough to the characters? if it matters more to the characters, the characters will matter more to the audience)
“am i giving my characters hell? is it fun to see them squirm and satisfying enough when they get out of it?”

interactive location:
- a setting and surrounding that interacts with the characters of the film by adding importance to their actions
- an environment which impacts the action and heightens the stakes
- threat of being in the location
- impact of a newly introduced character/element (eg. norma rae)

eg. Jurassic Park
location: jurassic park is a zoo/amusement park located on an island off the coast of central america
interactive location: the island is completely isolated, and anyone on it will be trapped until assistance from the mainland arrive

DYNAMIC ACTION
>>story is action
- no action = no interaction = no conflict
- action encompasses any kind of movement, activity and interaction between the characters and also between the characters and their surroundings
- talking about how one feels is not as powerful as illustrating why one feels the way they do through action
eg.
frustration: hitting the table
happiness:
sad: cry/anger
excitement:
satisfaction:
disappointment:

>>film is behaviour
- action is the manifestation of behaviour
- the complexity of the human psyche and interaction is better understood when ut is possible to watch the actions, nuances and reactions of the characters (we are visual creatures)

>>dynamic action
- has the potential to enrich the experience of the audience by heightening the stakes and increasing the tension

THE POWER OF ANY STORY LIES IN THE NARRATOR’S ABILITY TO PROJECT A MENTAL PICTURE FOR THE AUDIENCE

- juxtaposition of man-made and machines in dodol production

MOVING PICTURES
- address the problem many n00b have to screenwriting: how to convey visually any sens of inner conflict of emotion

boss’ POV:
- he is disappointed that the dog did not respond to his whistle but instead thembile’s. he then shove the dog into a rice sack and kicked the dog, then pointed a gun at thembile when he was slow at opening the bag
- afraid that the dog will be more loyal to thembile and envious of their friendship, make the dog think thembile was the one who kicked it

thembile’s POV:
- affection towards the dog, cuts the rope and makes a collar out of it for it
- fear; he was forced to put the dog into bag
- he is reluctant to open the bag after the boss has kicked the dog as he did not want the dog to misunderstand him and lose his trust
- he is shocked when the boss told him to shoot the dog; he becomes contemplative
- his desperation drove him to obey his boss’ commands

dialogue establishes relationships between characters
- once you have established your main character’s POV, you can use dialogue with other characters to show that they have other attitudes, creating opposite/alternative POVs.
- this helps to create and sustain the element of conflict between characters

- good effective dialogue will move the story forward

dialogue communicates faces and information to the audience
- it conveys essential exposition
- characters will talk about what happened, establishing the storyline

dialogue comments on the action

dialogue ties the script together
- it is one of the devices that you, as a writer, can use to expand and enlarge your characters

“If you can see it or hear it, don’t write it.”
- Neville Smith

dialogue should be used sparingly
- never tell the audience what they can see for themselves
- dialogue should not be substituted for action

eg. In Hollywood, when they look at a page and it’s got too much black, too much ink on the paper, they say: “Shit! It’s freeze the camera time!”

common mistake:
- students sometimes never achieve a level of competence as they tend to reproduce conventional spoken language, long statements of “real talking”, and defend their decision by telling us that

“It’s how the character speaks.”

1. good dialogue is not somebody’s ability to write authentic speech as heard in real life
- it is not cheesy (eg. “i’ll be your dairy queen if you be my burger king”)
- it is appropriate to the the genre
- if that was all there is to it, you can just push a button on the tape recorder and then go collect your Oscar

2. good dialogue is the illusion of reality
- good storytellers are good liars, they are able to recreate things
- you’ve got to know how to edit what people say without losing any of the spirit
- change what people say but keep the content the same

common mistake:
- students tend to create radio shows with images

- film is a visual medium
- a screenplay is a story told in pictures

Characterization:
- every story starts with a character
- the character is the heart (must feel and want something), the soul (his beliefs), and nervous system (what makes him human) of the story
- it is through your characters that the viewers experience emotions

- without a character, there is not action
- without action, you have no conflict
- without conflict, you have no story
- without story, you have no screenplay

Developing characters:
- who is your character?
- what does he want?
- what is his quest? (bigger-scale)
- what drives him to the resolution of the story?

1. establish your main character (most important)
- characters should have a 3D structure

a) physiology (looks)
+ sex
+ age
+ height, weight
+ colour of hair, eyes, skin
+ posture
+ appearance
+ defects, abnormailities, deformities, birth marks, diseases
+ heredity

b) sociology (his status in society)
+ class (lower, middle, upper)
+ occupation (type of work, hours of work, income, condition of work, attitude towards organisation, suitability for work
+ education: amount, kind of schools, marks, favourite subjects, aptitudes
+ home life (parents living, earning power, orphan, parents separated/divorced, parents’ habits, parents’ mental development, parents’ vices, neglect, character’s marital status

c) psychology
+ religion
+ race, nationality
+ place in the community; leader among friends, clubs, sports
+ political affiliations
+ amusements: hobbies, books, newspaper, magazines he/she reads
+ sex life, moral standards
+ personal premise, ambition
+ frustrations, chief disappointments
+ temperament: choleric, easy-going, pessimistic, optimistic
+ attitude towards life: resigned, militant, defeatist
+ complexes: obsession, inhibitions, superstitions, phobias
+ personality: extrovert, introvert
+ abilities: language, talents
+ qualities: imagination, judgment, taste, poise
+ IQ, EQ
+ what is the deep and personal secret this character has which he is desperate to protect/hide?

2. separate the components of his life into 2 basic categories

a) interior
- the interior life takes place from birth until the moment your story begins
- it is a process that forms character (when you start formulating your character from birth, you see your character build in body and form)
- how old is he when the story begins?
- where does he live?
- does he have siblings?
- what kind of childhood did he have?
- what was his relationship to his parents?
- what kind of child was he?
- is he married, single, widowed, separated or divorced?

b) exterior
- the exterior life takes place the moment your story begins to it’s conclusion
- it is a process that reveals character
- who are they and what do they do?
- are they sad or happy with their life?
- do they wish their life was different? another job, another wife?

- you must create your characters in relationship to other people or things

All dramatic characters interact in 3 ways:
1. they experience conflict in achieving their dramatic need (eg. need money – rob a bank, rob a store, rob a person?)
2. they interact with other characters (either in an antagonistic, friendly or indifferent way)
3. they interact with themselves (eg. he overcame his fear of being caught by pulling off the robbery sucessfully)

How do you invent characters?
- try turning them upside down, something you don’t associate with them (eg. a monk is devoted to his religion but is a football fanatic; a seriel killer whose obsession is to kill other serial killer; a common street rat who love to eat and cook only fine food)

Translatable ideas:
- visit to hospital
- fear of going to the dentist in primary school
- falling in <3
- ghost stories, fear
- death

Tips:
- if you don’t know what to do with a character, make him yourself for a while
- see how he relates to the world he has been thrown into
- plunder your own personal background! (the things that happen to you as you grow up and the things that are currently happening to you make terrific story sources)
- record experiences (eg, diary, blog, etc)
- reflect your past (boring? colourful?)
- recall how you felt

Memory:
- what is the difference between memory and experience?
- how do we use memory to build creative content?

Red could be known as a tragic hero because of the long period he has stayed in Shawshank, seeing many dastard deeds happen, despite of the resources he could very easily attain. Eventually he had helped Andy escaped by fulfilling his requests for pin-up girl posters and a tiny hammer after taking a liking to the man when he was first admitted to Shawshank, even helping him in his library scheme. But ultimately Andy returns the favour by secretly stashing cash away under a rock and helping Red reunite with him at a secluded island.

2) What was Red’s flaw and how did it cause his fall from grace?

Red was facing entrapment within himself, refusing to think of life outside prison, convinced that he would not be able to adapt to the modern world like former prison librarian Brooks, who hanged himself in the halfway house. He often failed parole for claiming that prison life had rehabilitated him, which is kind of like a standard answer in trying to achieve parole, no?

3) What lessons did Red learn from his mistakes?

Andy had certainly inspired Red that life was more than seeing the dark side of prison life because even after 2 decades in prison Andy had escaped and even revealed the secret controversies of Shawshank. Andy always had hope despite the trials and tribulations and helped Red to find some in his life.

4) How did he change and how did Red change others?

Red discovered the real meaning of hope and changed his perception of prison life, and was given parole. He found the truth of life and violated his parole by leaving the halfway house and reunited with Andy, always remembering what Brooks had wrote: “I doubt they’ll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me.” Red always helped others by fulfilling their requests and indirectly gave them a reason to live and for Andy, be a free man.

• Attire
• Behaviour
• Characteristics
• Dialogue/Speech
• Expression
• Facial features/Physical looks
• Gestures/Posture/Stance/Gait

- train yourself to see and record: movements, physical characteristics, settings
- adopt a keen eye
- develop a natural sense of curiosity but not intrusive
- an observed event, when abject to simple questions, can set up a sequence of possibilities that will develop into a story worth telling
eg. when you observe a couple having a meal yet totally not talking…what questions come to mind?

Questions to ask yourself:
1. who am i writing about?
2. who is my character?
3. what is he/she/it like?
4. what does he/she/it do?
5. what happens to him/her/it in the story?

AWARENESS LEVEL
- people rarely observe familiar people or things closely
- most people pass through the day with 20-30% awareness

MINDLESS OBSERVATION vs TRUE OBSERVATION
- develop the ability to see and record people:

• their movements
• their physical characteristics
• the setting/places they’re in



Types of CONFLICT:
- dramatic conflict is the protagonist’s struggle against something or someone
eg.
man vs man
man vs environment
man vs system
man vs technology
man vs self/conscience

-variations of conflict can arise from gender, age, religion, culture

Cause & Effects of CONFLICT:
- conflict arises when there is change
- changes may be major or minor
- while change is universal and common, it is not always accepted
eg.
seasons, lives, relationships, feelings, bodies, locations, technologies

- conflict arises when people resist changes
- the intensity of conflict depends how people react to the change

Importance of CONFLICT:
- plot cannot be constructed without conflict
- central feature of the screenplay
- as your characters attempt to reach their goals, they come into conflict with each other
- the end of the story nears when the protagonist and antagonist approach their goals and the conflict rises to generate maximum suspense and excitement

Writing for an audience:
- screenwriter = storywriter
- the cinematic experience is not just made up of text on paper, but the audiences’ emotional reaction to that information
- director to people
- writer to people
- camera to people
- people to people

Writer’s purpose:
- to connect with the audiences (themselves, unique vision, material/issue, the drama, others)
- audiences want to be transported by a screenplay

Where to look for a story?
- within yourself
eg. experiences, memories, emotions

- practice observing, “listening” and reading body language of people
- figure how to connect your viewers to your story through emotions, characters, etc.